Of Hunters and their Prey (3/?)

[motschekiebchen]

Title: Of Hunters and their Prey (3/?)

Author: motschekiebchen

 

 
Disclaimer/Summary: see Part 1

 

 

Thank you to my Betas MJ and RHR. Any remaining mistakes are my own.

 

 

 

3. Ring-a-ring-a-roses

 

 

 

In the end only the promise of hot chocolate with mini-marshmallows got Spike moving. But after tasting the local brew, he regretted agreeing. He had forgotten that no military cafeteria could compare with the slayer’s mother. Maybe it wasn’t too late to ask for Jim Beam? Better yet…, speculative he looked at the man sitting next to him. Maybe he could get soldier boy to lie down again?

 

 

 *###*###*###*

 

 

Major General George Hammond had expected Jack’s reaction. He had known his second in command long enough, same as Spike. Just because he hadn’t seen the vampire for ten years didn’t mean he couldn’t predict Spike’s reactions in certain situations. What was unexpected, was what Teal’c did.

 

The group’s transfer to the conference room went without any problems. But as Hammond had expected when it came to the seating arrangements the difficulties began. After the remaining introductions were made the General and O’Neill took their usual seats and the fun began. Spike had hurried to sit down in the chair next to the Colonel, a wide grin gracing his face.

 

On the other side of the table first Major Samantha Carter sat down, followed by Xander Harris and then Dr. Daniel Jackson took the next seat. Teal’c stayed standing behind the Doctor and stared at him. The normally observant archaeologist who was talking to his colleague and the newcomers remained obvious. Teal’c cleared his throat, getting no reaction. He did it again - louder. On the opposite side of the table the first snickers could be heard, coming from a certain Colonel and vampire. A louder throat clearing was followed by louder snickers. A series of throat clearing, a series of snickers – both parties getting louder and louder. Even a throat clearing accompanied by a short rattle on Jacksons’s chair still failed to bring success. But the full blown laughter that followed did get the archaeologist’s attention. Colonel O’Neill’s pointed look behind him did the rest. With a gulp he slid over one seat, letting the smug Jaffa sit down in his chair.

 

Hammond breathed a sigh of relief as Spike was distracted by the arriving hot chocolate, preventing the snarky comment he knew was forthcoming. But his relief was short lived. After the vampire’s first taste the General could tell that the beverage wasn’t up to the vampire’s standards, and this could only mean trouble. After all the time he had known Spike he knew the current look on his face brought chaos and destruction in its wake. For the time being he would just watch the events unfold, and though he wouldn’t admit it, he was waiting with a bit of anticipation. There was one thing Spike never was and that was boring… Okay, maybe it was also a bit of revenge on his second in command and his team. The people he was certain would have been responsible for the loss of his hair, if he still had any!

 

It all started slowly. First there were only glances, then as the Colonel become distracted, occupied in a discussion about the possibilities of how and why their guests arrived, the comedy unfolded.

 

 

 *###*###*###*

 

 

Spike knew he hadn’t had the greatest success rate in the past with carrying out his plans but he could be sneaky. He said so, so it had to be. Because it seemed more and more unlikely that he would get soldier boy to lay down again, Spike thought the next best thing would be annoy him. To accomplish that Spike decided the best course of action would be to sit in the soldier’s lap. So he slowly stalked his target. Bit by bit he moved his chair closer while Jack was occupied with talking. Inch by inch, foot by foot – just a little bit more and he could jump on soldier boy’s lap…

 

No! He was thwarted! When he moved he found an empty chair and his target had fled around the table to sit next to Daniel. Unfortunately that also had hurt because that chair had fallen when Jack fled. Spike meet chair edge and ground, ground meet Spike. Not a pleasant meeting thank you very much! But if soldier boy thought he was safe now, he better think again. Pouting the vampire looked over the table edge. Thank God for the inventor of conference tables. The advantage of them was obvious: Lots of space for many free seats. Spike got up, stalked around the table, and sat down next to the Colonel, who threw him a look and went back to his first seat. Only to be followed by the vampire. He fled again, he was followed. Flight, hunt, flight, hunt, flight, hunt… Enough was enough!

 

 

 *###*###*###*

 

 

Just as Xander wanted to suggest they add some music to the weird version of musical chairs the two men seemed to be playing, Spike succeeded in sitting down in the Colonel’s lap. The vampire proceeded to wiggle around and defied the Colonel’s tries to throw him off. When that didn’t stop Jack, Spike petted his check and told him: “Shh, you’re comfy, luv.”

 

The look on the Colonel’s face didn’t promise anything good, so Xander decided to intervene:

“Spike, they’re military!”

 

“Aaand?”

 

“Don’t ask?” he elaborated.

 

“Don’t ask what?”

 

“Don’t ask, don’t tell!”

 

“Don’t ask and tell what?!”

 

The vampire couldn’t really be that ignorant, could he? “Duh, they’re military. There are no gays in the military!”

 

“Who told you this fairytale?” Spike asked perplexed.

 

Okay, now he was sure the vampire was making fun of him. “I’m not saying there aren’t gay people IN the military; they just pretend they don’t know if there are, hence DADT.”

 

“Don’t care. ‘m not soldier.” Spike tried to burrow deeper into Jack by rearranging his arms.

 

Wondering when Spike became suicidal, cuz he was clearly crazy, daring, weary of life, crack-brained! Damn, he couldn’t think of enough words to describe Spike’s behaviour. Maybe brainless… his musings and any possible answer he could have thought of were interrupted by the General.

 

“Will, sit down in your own chair, please. We need to talk and we can’t do it when you two are sitting like this. You can continue to tease him later.” A contradiction forming on both parties lips was stopped immediately. “That’s my final word on the subject. No arguing.” They tried it nevertheless.

 

“But Georgie…”

 

“General, he…”

 

“No, I said, my last word. Will, in your own chair.”

 

A grumbling vampire followed the order, but didn’t let them stop him from sliding his seat a bit closer to the Colonel’s.

 

‘Maniacal, clearly maniacal,’ was Xander thought. Anything to distract himself from the strangely intense looks the big black dude was shooting him. The black guy – Teal’c, his name was Teal’c, strange name - hadn’t done anything negative. It was just… He was… weird? Too polite? He offered Xander something to drink, something to eat, his formal way of speaking… not to forget that he had also tried Spike’s chair-sneaking trick. Did he think Xander was  stupid? That already hadn’t worked with the soldier. Why should he be more stupid than the Colonel? Damn, now he was trapped. Teal’c had used his distraction to inch closer. The only chance he had would be, if he jumped on Lieutenant Carters lap. Maybe he could try being polite before he copied the Colonel and made a run for it. “Would you please move your chair back? I feel crowded.”

 

 

 *###*###*###*

 

 

A kindergarten. He led a kindergarten. General Hammond shook his head. “Gentlemen, if we could concentrate on the topic at hand?”

 

“What about her? Why isn’t she included?” a pouting vampire asked, pointing to Major Carter.

 

“She,” the Major herself answered. “Hasn’t said or done anything to take part in your little comedy.”

4. Cowboys n’ injuns